“Give me belonging, give me identity, give me continuity, but give me transcendence and mystery and awe all in one.
Give me comfort, give me edge.
Give me novelty, give me familiarity.
Give me predictability, give me surprise.
I want you to be my best friend and my trusted confidant and my passionate lover to boot. And we think it's a given.”
We are now asking our partner to give us what once an entire village used to provide says Esther Perel. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
After reading her ‘Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic’ one take-away we got is that at the heart of sustaining desire in a committed relationship, is the reconciliation of two fundamental human needs. On the one hand, our need for security, for predictability, for safety, for dependability, for reliability, for permanence. All these anchoring, grounding experiences of our lives that we call home. But we also have an equally strong need — men and women — for adventure, for novelty, for mystery, for risk, for danger, for the unknown, for the unexpected and surprise. Space for paradox, space in our togetherness. What do you ask partner to provide? How do you communicate your needs and fantasies? #wegotyou